You Should Stay Straight

Nope, no gay tendencies to you at all
Except that you decided to take this gay quiz
You may secretly wonder if you could get it on with another guy
Only if all the women died off - or if you were in prison for life

Should You Go Gay?
(Or the Should You Go Lesbian? Quiz as is Appropriate)

Not Safe For Work!! Due to advertising on the target site.

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This adorable little guy did not seem to want me to leave after I reunited him with his mother who lost him and three of his siblings in a mad dash across a busy downtown street at midday. She took shelter under a back porch that obviously has been their home for some time...so I broke out a pair of workgloves and escorted the lost children home. I was surprised to see them in the busy area they were in but it is a sure sign that spring is here...

2. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.


7. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


9. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.


14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.


24. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker,  you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.


25. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULLSHIT'. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)


36. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "FUCK OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

Just a few of my favorite entries from "The Men Commandments"...pretty funny shit and almost all of them are more or less generally observed!

I'm actually really disappointed that the PC-EZ Bake Oven is a fake...giving over a 5 1/4" bay for one of these would rock!

Here's a rumored fashion fad that I hope dies a swift death: anus bleaching. One can't hope but think this is a joke but so far despite it's being absurd sounding I can't find any outright references in either direction.

Frankly, if you're worried about your anus being too dark...you need to find someone who truly loves anus. You also have far, far too much time on your hands.

Weird Al has a message to his fans up concerning the death of his parents. No quotes.

Go.

Read.

You Don't Even Know Any Metrosexuals! You're a man's man who could intimidate John Wayne. You've got the charm to impress women, more than any pretty boy. Women flock to a stud like you, even if you refuse to take them dancing. You have a mojo all your own, without having to primp or moisturize. Are You a Metrosexual? Take This Quiz :-)

Hmmm, how about some nice kosher for passover song parodies in honor of the season and Weird Al's loss?

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All My Leaven (Sung to the tune of “All My Lovin”) I’ll find crumbs in the kitchen The kinder will pitch in I’ll try not to leave any clue And then while its away I’ll eat matzah each day ‘cause I sold all my leaven to you All my leaven, I will sell to you All my leaven, Rabbi, I’ll be true All my leaven, All my leaven Woo, all my leaven, I will sell to you

Our Passover Things (Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things") Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes Fish that's gefillted, horseradish that stings These are a few of our Passover things. Matzah and karpas and chopped up haroset Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings These are a few of our Passover things. Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows Matzah balls floating and eggshell that clings These are a few of our Passover things. When the plagues strike When the lice bite When we're feeling sad We simply remember our Passover things And then we don't feel so bad.

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Of course, that site is probably just another thinly veiled plot from The International Jewish Conspiracy!!

Our deepest condolences go out to "Weird Al" Yankovic today...we're big fans of his and the tragic death of his parents, who were found dead of apparent carbon monoxide poisoning in their home, is deeply saddening. We can do little but offer our thoughts and prayers for a man who has given us so many laughs over the years...

13 girls and three boys at a camp in southern Negeri Sembilan state went berserk and started screaming that their toilets were haunted

There was always something horrifying about the toilets at camp when I was a kid...it always seemed "unnatural" but never quite supernatural!