Hey there Bruce fans! Once again I'm leaving you at the mercy of Reverend Brian and the rest of the gang for a few days while I'm off hunting bear in Tioga County Pennsylvania (we'll be in the big green forest area hunting bear, not shooting tame animals at the slaughter-farm whose site this map is on!) I'll be posting again around Thursday or so since our cabin lacks any phone service at all - unless I happen to find someplace to plug my laptop into a phone line! Wish me luck!

A Canadian father is suing the New Brunswick Amateur Hockey Association after his 16-year-old son failed to win the league's most valuable player award.

Michael Croteau is seeking about $200,000 in psychological and punitive damages from the association. He also demands that the MVP trophy be taken from the winner and given to his son, Steven.

This bozo claims that since his son was the league's highest scorer, he automatically should have been given the MVP award. Bullshit! Most hockey leagues have a separate award for the highest scorer and last year the NHL MVP was one of it's lowest scorers - a goalie! The MVP in any sport is decided on a combination of attributes and if, as this man claims, his son was "crushed" when he didn't become MVP and "lost his desire to play" he has shown that he doesn't deserve it. Great players who are an example of sportsmanship and leadership qualities as well as excelling at the game are rarely whiny-ass pussies who get their pretty, pink panties in a knot because they don't get a particular trophy!

Kunstbar is a very cool Flash animation about a bar where the drinks, which are named after famous artists, have some very bizarre effects. I mean, drinking a Matisse or a Rodan isn't too bad but top off too many Jackson Pollack's with a Heironomous Bosch and look out! A pretty hefty file size but well worth the wait.

A collection of payphone numbers from around the world with a picture of the phone you are calling. This would be super-cool if they had webcams at each location so you could see who you were bothering, but that's a bit much to ask!

Well done parody of the "Xiao Xiao" stick-fighter animations. This just takes the genre to the level of the absolute absurd! If you haven't seen the originals I fear that you may not be "1337" enough to watch this (there is a link to the originals at the end of this animation.)

A pretty exhaustive collection of pictures and write-ups describing the various entrances to hell in the UK. For what must have started as a joke, it tends to be a somewhat entertaining site to poke around - I spent FAR more time there than I would have expected.

(Found via Gammatron)

An informative tutorial on how to create breasts. The effect he manages to create is pretty amazing but he really does make a ferociously ugly woman! You'll have to look around for head shots - if you dare...

Proof that Batman is gay, not that there is anything wrong about it. (Hint for the non comic geeks, all the superhero's are worried about their wives, who is Batman worried for?)

Here's a great little game that's been floating around my "to post" box for a few days - "Hit the Fan." The object is to propel a mound of fecal matter with your ping-pong paddle so that it connects with the rotary air circulation device. Once you get some practice, try spring one off the stapler or landing one in the coffee cup. Even better yet, go for a "Mac attack" and ricochette one off the iMac screen into the blades. They did a fairly good job of creating a sound effects for the moment when the caca hits the old ventilador too - so how can you lose? Update: The site has now moved to this location - big thanx to Jim for pointing this out!

Wondering what to get the crazed nymphomiac slut who has everything on your list for Christmas? How about a lovely hand blown glass dildo! They're made from tempered medical grade Pyrex glass so they should be rather stong and safe - and they'll clean up in a jiffy. Frankly, the one called "The Ribbed Juicer" looks like a great gift - and it could double as a kitchen tool... ...of course, when stumbled on this, I assumed that this was a very niche item. So, imagine my surprise when doing a search for info for the Pyrex glass link above, I find that the first item Google found was Pyrex body jewelry and the second was another company making Pyrex sex toys! This company has a very thorough FAQ on glass dildos and they even have a custom dildo configurator where you can design your own dong. For only $574.99 I could get a 1 1/2 inch in diameter, 14 inch long curved (G-spot) dildo with an engorged head, large ridges and a sword handle (and a nice pouch to keep it in.) Then I could frighten off Muslim terrorists with my huge, nearly invisible, penis-headed scimitar! Damn, this week of long night shift hours has caused me some serious brain rot...good thing I have 10 days off work in a row coming up!

A fight apparently sparked by a hairy derriere contest led to an early morning slashing incident Wednesday, police said [...] Police said the two men were apparently arguing about who had the hairiest derriere when they began fighting in a parking lot at the Warren Village apartment complex on Allen Road, police said.

Since this occurred in Jersey, it makes me nervous about some possible plans to attend a Buffalo Sabres/New Jersey Devils game there with a friend who is fond of saying that he has "a yard of dick, a bucket of balls and enough hair on his ass to knit an Indian blanket" and has been caught with his pants down on occasion in reference to this statement...

...and check out the awesome command of grammer in this article! Starting a sentence with the words "police said" and ending the same sentence with the words "police said" is just a bit beyond my tolerance.

My condolences and heartfelt grief go out to my good friends Stacy and Chuck, whose two year-old son Dylan passed away Sunday evening. Unfortunately, things won't be made any easier on them since their messy divorce and some bitter feelings have led to questions being raised about the situation. I know more about the circumstances than the story reveals but I feel that silence is prudent at this point.

So, a long week of swing-shift overtime gets even longer for me. Wednesday morning is going to be interesting with all involved together in the same building for the funeral. Hopefully those that attend will seek to mourn the dead and not to air their other grievances.

Good bye Dylan, you always seemed to have a smile on your face and nothing could keep you down. You shall be missed.

Comments seem to suggest that the Cybermice game I posted the other day has been frustrating some of our readers and wasting a lot of their time. Well, if you need a break from it - give Atomic Badger Racing a try. It's a bit simpler but there is some strategy and skill involved.

And if you're just visiting here from our American Realpolitik blog, you could always try out Downing Street Fighter to see if you can kick the the piss out of the other candidates to become the undisputed PM!

For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion: The God/Goddess of the Month Club!

Included in this fantastic offer: each month you will receive complete rituals of the current God and/or Goddess of the month including what (or whom) to sacrifice.

Who knew that Canola was goddess of the harp? Somehow the name "Canola" led me in an VERY different direction!

I ran across a bizarre little one-page cartoon called "Safety Tips from Anubis" that amused me for some unknown reason. You can view a reduced quality version on our server but if you want the real thing, head over to 665.

Every once in a while you run across something on the net that just makes you go...hmmmm, that's a REALLY bad idea. I found an article on a website the other day titled "How to Shoot Heroin" which falls right into this catagory. It wouldn't be bad enough to educate people how to properly inject this poison into their veins but this article is deliberately misleading. Sure, they make a tiny attempt at making sure people understand that they're joking at the beginning but they need to realize that they could get the pants sued off of them if somebody actually followed their instructions. One part in particular caused me a problem (text is red is added by me):

Do NOT do this!!!
Injecting a tiny bit of air (about an eighth-inch) with the heroin is harmless but if you are nervous about this the syringe could be tilted so the air floats to the other end. From personal experience a quarter-inch (about 10 units) of air being injected with heroin is harmless but there's no need to make a habit of it.
The reason you will not make a habit of injecting air into your veins is because it will KILL YOU!!!

The entire article just seems like a pretty poor judgement call...they'd better hope some teen-aged idiot doesn't take them seriously or they'll be up to their pants in subpeonas in a heartbeat.

Try out this annoying little game in which you to guide your randomly scooting mice to a block of cheese by using matchsticks and other objects to force them to change direction. Cybermice really gets frustrating when you start hitting levels that outline some weird challenges - but that just make it MORE addicting!

Since Disney has been very supportive of tighter and tighter copyright laws, I hope they've got themselves good and lubed up for the future. The picture at the left is from a 14th Century is in the Community Church in Malta, Carinthia and bears an uncanny resemblance to Mickey Mouse. Although Disney created Mickey in 1928, the painting in question is some 700 years older - can you say "intellectual property"? I doubt anything will come of it but it would be pretty funny to see them get screwed over for supporting shitty legal issues.

Oh the humanity! J.R.R. Tolkien's epic as illustrated with marshmallow peeps as the characters. Truly a labor of complete and utter insanity... ...actually it's also frighteningly well done and rather cool too!

you have an ominosity quotient of six. you are really ominous. find out your ominosity quotient.

A nice little Flash video for a fictional band called Litterbox. I very nearly wet my pants watching this bit...and I'm not really sure why other than it being a very accurate representation of what it would sound like if a bunch of cats started a metal band. The vocals remind me of my cat Galadriel - which should make Rev. B. wince a bit...

I always love seeing really ancient video games being given a new twist without removing their inherent simplicity, that's probably why I really like this Radial Pong game where you play pong in a circular environment. It took me about 3 minutes to figure out how to totally bone the AI playing against you so I suppose I'll have to wait a bit longer on this one!

The top grossing film in Norway this week? The Two Towers, of course, even though it won't be released for another six weeks! It seems they sold over 35,000 advanced tickets the first day they were on sale. Niiiice!

How BLACK are you?
Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

Like motorcycles? Like going really fast? Well, stop being a pussy and drooling over bikes with internal combustion engines like all those other losers! What you need is a Marine Turbine Technologies Y2K Superbike powered by a deisel burning Rolls Royce Allison turbine engine with a demonstrated 300 horsepower and 425 ft/lbs of torque! With an estimated top speed of 250 mph, the ability to run 9.80 second quarter miles at 160 mph and acceleration from 0-227 mph in 15.0 seconds - not much is going to touch this little rocket on the road! I doubt I'll see of these babies around very soon though since it does have a $185,000 price tag which I suppose really comes out $5,000 for the bike and $180,000 to help them pay their insurance premiums!

Looking for a Ramadan gift for the terrorist who has everything? Here's the perfect gift: an AK-MP3!! It's an MP3 player with 20gb capacity housed in a magazine for an AK-47 assault rifle, perfect for the terrorist on th go! Unfortunately it won't be available (if ever) until April 2003. The REALLY odd part about it is that the company that is creating this little gem is AUDIOBOOKSFORFREE.COM which isn't an odd thing in itself but when you notice that the projected sale price jumps $200 US with "200+ audio books pre-installed" you have to wonder about these guys! I can see a token amount of money for the time spent but $200 for their "free" audiobooks?

Well, we already know the Iraq, Iran and North Korea are the "Axis of Evil", but what about the rest of the countries in the world? With this handy little map you can click on any three countries in the world and find out what axis the three of them constitute. I personally feel much more secure now that I know that Peru, Madagascar and Ethopia are merely the "Axis of Officially Polylingual Hydroelectric Countries."

Its a good thing Mookie is married. There is real life superhero that protects women of NY from being hit on. I wonder if she has a lasso of truth?

I wonder if the reporter in this clip still has a job after making a slight slip while doing a voice over during a clip about Jennifer Lopez. Pretty funny stuff and not that huge of a download stream...

As a painter, West lacked the classical technique and finesse of his contemporaries in spite of the high prices his paintings commanded. His brushstrokes were uneven and his color schemes garish. That mattered little to him, though, as he concentrated on the fidelity of the facial representation and the composition. As he put it so often, "I paints 'em so's you can pick 'em out in a courtroom, even from the gallery."

The originals of his paintings have all disappeared, including major works like "Martha Washington and the Negro Field Hand," which was sold for an incredible sum to Mrs. Washington herself. West was always careful, however, to keep a secret copy of all of his so-called "intimate portraits" hidden away as a form of insurance.

An except from the description of the painting "Benjamin Franklin Gathering Neighborhood Boys to Play 'Fly the Kite'" from the wonderfully Photoshopped and pretty hilarious Museum of Depressionist Art. Good stuff, check it out.

Got nothing to do this weekend? Why not go take the Colossal Colon Tour. This is another one of those things that I wish I could tell you was a joke...but it's not. It's a four foot high, forty foot long replica of the human colon that is used to teach about colon health. That's just what we really need...our children thinking it's acceptable to play around in strangers colons!

Sure, Hangman was fun when you were a kid and had a piece of paper but now that you have a computer it's more fun to play Throw a Fish at a Nun!! Unfortunately they have a very limited number of words so it gets boring pretty quick.

Pretty funny Flash commercial spoof of the Apple "Switch" ads..."My name is Anakin Skywalker and I'm a Sith Lord."

Anybody remember Rev. B's post from the other day stating that he bought a pair of speaker's because they had a blue LED? Well, it seems that blue LED's are just simply the rage right now...

Intentionally or not, Krell and others were capitalizing on an association between blue and high-end audio that dates back to 1923. In that year, product inspectors at German radiomaker Ideal began to daub a blue dot on earphones that met their standards. The mark became so identified with quality that in 1938 the company changed its name to Blaupunkt -- literally, blue dot.

Blue got another image boost in the 1960s, when McIntosh Labs, a top-of-the-line stereo components maker in Binghamton, N.Y., hired University of Michigan researchers to find out what color of light is most visible to middle-age males, the company's core demographic. Blue, they said, and McIntosh began putting blue-tinted faceplates on its pricey units.

They even have a reader response page for you to send in your stories about purchasing an item because it had a blue LED instead of green or red. Start typing Brian!

Mabye someone here can help me out. I keep getting spam. Sometimes i open it up for whatever reasons. A lot of the time all the message is is some garbbled half lettered half cubes and such. Anyone know what this is? I am curious. Thanks for the help.

A really nice collection of simple game that are quite well executed. Simple graphics and decent gameplay make most of these games some of the nicest implementations I've seen on the net. The Mahjongg is particularly good (for you Tarra!) but I am slowly becoming addicted to Wormz...

A guide to the Ladder Theory of Male/Female Relationships. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it'll make you sit back and think - and think hard. Well worth the time to read through the whole presentation IMHO.

Many women want to argue this point and say things like " I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:

1. The guy is gay.
2. The guy does not find you attractive.
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder.

Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:

1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
2. Comply

Remember this only works if you are honest with yourself.

Oh dear! Oh dear, the horrible horror of it all. Jonathan Harris AKA Dr Zachary Smith, passes away.

If you are offended by naked boobies, do not click any links in this post!

Lots of websites that I've seen encourage female readers to send pictures of themselves in with the website name either written on their anatomy or displayed prominently in some part of the scene. Well, now EVERY website can have this service automagically! If you click HERE you'll get promoting us in another window. If you look at the address of the site, you should probably be able to figure out how to make one promoting just about anything you can think of...

I love poking around over at the DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) website, there's almost always something really cool to see. My current fave is the "Self-Healing Minefield. It consists of a bunch of anti-tank mines that lay on the surface of the ground and establish a wireless network between themselves. Then, if any of the mines are exploded, the network decides on a coarse of action which may include the mines moving by themselves to close any breaches or paths that may have been created. Creepy!