Coke, after nearly twelve decades in business, is closing its doors. Coke cited as reasons for this the failure of its many CokeLand shops, and Pepsi’s growing dominance in the increasingly important field of specialty colas. Although Coke triumphed steadily in one area—that of its Double-Diet No-Vanilla Neapolitan Okay-Some-Vanilla Cherry Coke—profits from that beverage were insufficient to counterbalance Pepsi’s considerable gains. (In the past year, Pepsi has seen record sales from its Caffeine-Blast Pepsi Wintergreen, Pepsi 18-34, and Cool-Ranch Pepsi varieties.)

Hilarious New Yorker article on the ridiculous machinations of the cola wars.

I know I said that I wanted that pez-like Labatt's beer dispenser for my birthday but, alas, I've changed my mind. There's an F/18 fighter for sale on eBay that would just be the shit! Yeah, the bid is at $8,100,000 right now but my birthday is over a month away so start rolling change and check the couch cushions!

Lucky The Stuffed Cat
This is an actual cat that some wonderful person preserved through taxidermy, the ears are bobbed, the tail broken and "repaired", the fur mangy and other things I have forgot, a unique conversation piece, I believe the cat's name is "Lucky". No Reserve.

Here's the bookmark to this eBay auction (which will expire in about a month) but can anyone believe that this wretched example of pure hideousness sold for $81.01?! You really, really can sell anything on the net.

Check out Signs of Life, a photo collection of odd and thought provoking signs. As for the one at the left, I know I get very angry when people walk on my groyne!

Chicago has been at the foundation of many sports leagues:

The Cubs were among the founders of the National League, the Bears helped create the NFL and the Blackhawks were an original member of the National Hockey League.

Now they've announced that they'll be fielding a team in the Lingerie Football League! As good as hockey looks on Brian's new 61" widescreen, this could very well look much, much better!

And while we're on the subject of female undergarments, this recent news item makes it very clear that removing a woman's bra with a chainsaw can be dangerous. Who knew?

"I couldn't pull back the chainsaw quickly enough and cut her breast and stomach. It was terrible."

You just can't make that kind of thing up...

These rotary engine housing fishtanks are pricey...but damn they are cool!

From his bed at St. Patrick Hospital on Wednesday morning, Raymond Mattes relives a tragic accident on Interstate 90 near Frenchtown on Saturday that left himself and two others with serious injuries. Mattes, a long-haul trucker, was coming to Missoula to receive an award from Jim Palmer Trucking for driving a million miles without an accident.

I think only Brian will understand why this amuses me. Actually, if you read the article, this guy actually probably saved a few lives with his actions during the accident that occurred (which was not his fault at all.)

(Brian and I had a little "incident" some years ago with some idiot on the interstate who, after cutting us off, hooked our vehicle's front bumper with his rear bumper and literally dragged us sideways through a construction zone. After we pulled over and him and his goon of a friend threatened to beat the shit out of us, he began bragging that he was a truck driver with a million safe miles. Good times!)

There's tons of information out there concerning the impact that the World Wide Web has had on society...but just how wide is it?

A really nice collection of printable V-day cards are available over at . Some are nice and some, like the one above, are a bit on the obnoxious side. Good fun all around if you ask me!

Weird
A Clark couple has been charged with child cruelty after their 13-year-old foster daughter -- whose job it was to feed their elderly father -- continued bringing him food even after the man had died, authorities said yesterday.

Donna Keaveney, 36, and her husband, Kenneth, 37, allegedly failed to tell anyone for two to four weeks that Donna's father, 82-year-old Nicola Lombardi, had died.

Unfrigginbelievable!
A Hampshire Police spokeswoman said: "Police were called to a sudden death on December 3 last year where the body of a man was found. A post mortem examination was unable to find a cause of death.

There are no suspicious circumstances and an inquest is set to take place on February 19."

What's so unbelievable about that? I guess it's because the victim of the "sudden death" had died 18 months earlier and was not so much a "body" as he was a skeleton!! I suppose his brother, who called in the death and lived in the same mobile home, may not have noticed it right away.

He told police he noticed a brown female stray dog wagging its tail and "acting sexy" and pulled it into some tall grass by the roadside.

That should be enough of a quote to let you determine whether or not you want to read the rest of this story.

Of course, this shouldn't shock those who live in sexually permissive Sweden where such acts are perfectly legal...

Animal sex is not illegal in Sweden, and every year between 200 and 300 pets are injured because of sexual assaults.

“We have seen an increase since 1999 when child pornography became illegal,” said Johan Beck-Friis. “It appears, in other words, as there are some people who have replaced children with animals. In both circumstances, it is sex with defenseless individuals.”

In contrast with most other countries, animal sex is not illegal in Sweden. It was decriminalized in 1944 in connection with the decriminalization of homosexual sex

Gosh, we're such sexually repressed prudes in the US...

---

Update!

Hmmm, maybe the dog that mauled that man was just trying to do him a favor...just in case he became attached and tried to marry her...

A 75-year-old man in Nepal married a dog in a local custom to ensure good luck only to die three days later.

Well, maybe he had a sucky job and his wife was a nag, then dying was lucky for him!

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.