Here is a special Halloween message for all of our readers!

Check out the new Green Lantern parody.This guy also has Aquaman, Batman and Wonderwoman on the same link.

How better to celebrate Halloween than to create a nice, traditional Macolantern? A Macolantern is a pumpkin carved with a Macintosh themed figure and they even give you some quick and dirty instructions on the process. The example here are of Ellen Feiss, the inexplicably popular stoner chick for the Apple "Switch" ads and, the man himself, Steve Wozniak. Check out the pumpkin page for something TRULY scary, a pumpkin with the face of Steve Ballmer from Microsoft!

The Odd Todd Halloween Special is pretty damned funny but at 5mb at is quite the wait for dialup connections. *I* think it was worth it...YMMV.

I'd also like to welcome Ultimate Insult to our server. Mr. Dwarf was having some issues with his free service so I made him a deal he could not refuse! He's migrating from Blogger to Movabletype also so give him some time to get familiar with MT and get his site looking the way he wants it. Until his domain name change gets around you may need to view his new site at this address...it seems to be about half working for me now. It think some of my ISP's name servers have the change and some don't. Weeeird!

My intention in making paintings using my menstrual blood is to create beauty from something that most people would rather avoid. I consider my paintings as personal and political images presenting a positive and celebratory attitude toward menstruation.

And here I thought she was some kind of wacko...but I suppose she's actually an artist. Yes lady, I would like to "avoid" your menstrual blood. You can keep your bowel movements and urinations to yourself for the same damned reasons too! You know what I'd really like to avoid? People who think that using bodily fluids and excretions in their art somehow legitimizes it or gives it a different meaning. Get a clue, without you blathering about your source, red is just red. It doesn't matter whether you ordered it from Dick Blick or swirled your brush about your nether regions every twenty-eight days. Want to impress me...how about composition and form that have meaning in and of themselves? How about art that doesn't need explaining? A picture is supposed to say a thousand words but you need a thousand words to give anybody a friggin' clue what the hell your picture is about.

Talent. That is what impresses me...not some loony standing next to the canvas going, "...and the light green is combination of my ex-girlfriend's earwax, the girlfriend who killed herself halfway through my explaination of my last painting, well...I collected the earwax and then mixed it with bile which I extracted from myself by fasting for three days and then gagging myself until I'd regurgitated it out of my large intestine...I saved the latter of these extractions to use elsewhere because of the blood that was in it."

Dinky Bomb is a cool graphic "ballistics" game which you play head to head with other players. I played a few games against a guy in Belgium last night and it was pretty dern fun! Don't worry, I held up our American ideals by blasting the living bejesus out of him seven games in a row...we did have nice chat about Belgian beer during the game though. Mmmmm! Beeeeer!

Nothing says "love" like the gift of a Happy-Time Blow-Job Bib. Well, nothing says ORAL love like it...

The BBC Pyramid Builder Game is sort of eductional although it seems directed toward a young crowd. It gives you instructions a;long the way as you make decisions concerning the construction of the pyramid. I managed to successfully build on my second attempt, had a bit of a workers revolt the first time around. Let them eat onions I say!!

A crude and bizarre bit of Flash animation involving Polka music and imagery from Kubrick's movie version of "The Shining." Nothing else to say but WTF??!

The cakes - the first of their kind in Taiwan - have a beautiful luminescence because of their cream coating which contains a special protein acquired with the latest biotechnology from Taiwan's endemic red algae.

According to Cheng Chun-ming, a biotechnology scientist from National Taiwan University who started his own business several years ago and maker of the cakes, the phosphorescent protein extracted from the red algae helps increase a cake's attractiveness but is not a health concern to consumers as it is completely natural and edible.

Too bad this probably won't pass FDA inspection by next March, I so covet a glowing cake for my birthday!

This list of things overheard in an STD clinic is pretty damned funny...here are my Top 5 from the list...

5 - "My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
4 - "Can't you put the swab in further?"
3 - "My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."
2 - "My pee smells like ham."

...and the number one funniest thing said in an STD clinic...

"I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice."

And if you aren't already grossed out, now look at #4 again and ask yourself, "male or female?" Have a nice day!

A pair of deer interrupted the lunchtime rush Friday at a McDonald's restaurant in Washington when they smashed through a plate glass window and pranced around the store, a fire official said.

I wonder how long it is until some evironMENTAList decides to claim that the deer in Washington DC are merely activist deer protesting the slaughter of their bovine bretheren. You know they will...

I would really love one of these Colonblow T-shirts! It takes me back the old Saturday Night Live skit about Colonblow cereal - but actually the people at Colonblow are at least somewhat serious. In fact, the only way to get the shirt is to buy some of their colon cleansing supplement - I don't know if I want a shirt THAT bad...even if the back does say "Poopin' is Fun!"

Just what I really needed - the Useless Fact of the Day website. As if my mind isn't already crammed with trivial minutae that generally prevents me from remembering anything really important!

Now that Spider Man showed the world that Comics can make huge profitable movies, Hollywood is cashing in on superheros. In the works are Daredevil, Fantastic Four, Namor, X Men 2, Superman, Batman, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and now Hellboy. Life is good.

Our creative team will come up with ideas you never even thought of. How could you? You don't have the talent we do. Don't take it personally. That's our job. That's what we do. We do stuff.

Go take a look at the Huh? corporate website. ,I think the company I work for has had these guys in for a consultation...

Soldier of Surrender: The Official Magazine of the French Military.

Low Self-Esteen Teen magazine is a hoot! Too bad it's a one page take on the cover, I'd love to see a full issue done up!

You Are An Intense Kisser!

Deep tounging, nibbling, and locking lips for hours are on your agenda.
You've been known to wear lovers out with your kiss,
before getting to anything else on the menu.
And given that you kiss so well... imagine how you do everything else.

How Do *You* Kiss?

Does the sheer number of countries, cultures and languages in Europe confuse the hell out of you - especially since the seem to be pretending to get along these days? Well, here are some handy tips on identifying the relationships between the many different denizens of the Olde Countries. A small example:

War Deaths in Europe by decade:

1900-1910: 5,000
1911-1920: 20,000,000
1921-1930: 3,000,000
1931-Sept.1939: 500,000
1940-1949: 49,000,000
1951-1960: 100,000
1961-1970: 2,000
1971-1980: 2,500
1981-1990: 3,000
1991-2000: 260,000


Just remember, these are the people currently ranting about the horrid American bloodlust for war...

Days after former O. J. Simpson defense attorney Johnnie Cochran said on MSNBC that he is “about 90 percent” certain that his client was innocent, Mr. Simpson today said that his attorney had planted “fresh seeds of doubt” in his own mind.

“FOR YEARS, I’VE BEEN pretty sure that I did not murder my wife,” Simpson said today at a golf course in Boca Raton, Fla., where he was taking a rare break from searching for the real killers of his wife. “But if Johnnie’s not 100 percent sure, I’m like, hey, maybe I better take another look at this.”

The folks over at MSNBC could have made it a tad more obvious that this article was just a humor column!

**** THE PROOF THAT Reverend Gregory IS EVIL ****

   R   E   V   E   R   E   N   D   G   R   E   G   O   R   Y

  82  69  86  69  82  69  78  68  71  82  69  71  79  82  89     - as ASCII values

   1   6   5   6   1   6   6   5   8   1   6   8   7   1   8     - digits added

  \_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \_________/

   3           4           1           6           7             - digits added

Thus, "Reverend Gregory" is 34167.

Turn the number backwards, and add 1531 - the year Richard Roose was conveniently boiled to death for trying to poison an archbishop. The number is now 77674.

Subtract 200, the symbol of greed. The result will be 77474.

Add 1834, the year Vesuvius erupted - the result is 79308.

Subtract 1950, the year Steve Wozniak, the faithful worshipper, was born. The result will be 77358.

Turn the number backwards, subtract 1977 - the year Elvis left the planet. The number is now 83400.

This number, when read backwards, gives 00438. This, written in octal, gives 666 - the number of the Beast.

Enough said - QED. The Evil Finder has spoken!

Well, I guess there's no reason to wait around for the band Iron Maiden to tour any time soon. It seems that lead singer Bruce Dickenson has decided to pursue a career as a commercial airline pilot. I swear I am not making this up!!

Wow one of my favorite comics, Starman, is on its way to televison. I just hope its one tenth as good as the comic.

I am 68% bastard. How about you? Take the bastard test. There is also a bitch test for the ladies.

The Complete Comic Book Cliche links. Here, here and here.

Anyone remember those Hostess ads in old comics? Well now you can make your own Hostess Cakes Ads.

Here is an archive of every Hostess ad ever to grace a comic book.


Just for fun, fill in the balloons of this OJ Simpson ad. Have fun.