I really need to invest in a CAT-5 o' Nine Tails and a plane ticket to Florida so I can go visit the boneheads hosting us and get all medieval on their asses!!

As a teacher, when I saw this I just had to blog. The Things You Should Not Learn In School.

We've all seen those cheesy snowdomes full of water and recycled dandruff that everybody gets out around X-mas - but now there is another piece of kitsch you can have laying around all year long. Plaguedomes! Yes, these little beauties depict the Ten Plagues although only the Plague of Locusts and Three Days of Darkness seem to have been designed yet. Heck, they're under $10 and they'd make great Passover gifts!

What should happen to the World Trade Center site in the future? . . . Give your input at ImagineNY.com

If you see this I've succesfully managed to post from Explorer 5.5 running under Windows 2000 Pro from a Macintosh running Virtual PC under Mac OS 10.1.2 - coooool!! Now all I have to do is get the Apache server built into OS X running, install PHP4 and MySQL, install Windows XP, 98 and 95 in separate virtual machines and I've got a web development station that doesn't require a separate server and allows me to test under different OS versions without tying up my phone line...yeehaw!

L.A. Riots - A Decade Later

If they can put a man on the moon, clone sheep, and use artificial hearts then maybe one day they will find a cure for baldness . . . Hairogenics.com

I thought i was the only one. I guess there are more clown haters than I thought. I Hate Clowns

"We plan to develop canned dog meat tonic juice, which football fans can enjoy in their stadium seats while watching games," said Choi Han-Gwon, a leader of a national association of dog meat restaurants.

"They will enjoy it instead of Coke," he said.

Mmmmm! Doesn't "canned dog meat juice" just have a lyrical ring to it...hwwwaaaarff!!! Somehow I don't think their marketing people quite understand how the free market really works...

1) Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
2) Linda Lovelace (Deep Throat)
and now NUMBER THREE: TLC's Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes Killed in a Car Crash

Linda Lovelace killed in a car accident

Want to see my Giant Sized Man Thing? Hehehe i bet you do.

Alice In Chains singer Layne Staley was found dead on Friday (April 19) surrounded by heroin paraphernalia, according to a report by the Associated Press . . . "and we die young."

Speaking of games, here is the history of role playing games. I can't be the only ex Dungeons and Dragons nerd here can I? If Mookie only knew what a big nerd he hangs with.

You know you are a gamer if...... you think this is funny.

Ever wonder where exactly Metropolis is? Can Bruce Wayne do lunch in New York and be back in time to fight crime in Gotham as Batman? Well here is the Altas of DC Comics.

He's an uncontrollable drug-addicted cat burglar haunted by an iconic dead American confidante She's a provocative tempestuous Valkyrie with a flame-thrower. They fight crime!

Eight Legged Freaks . . . We're not talkin' Spiderman here.

Thunderwear.com - Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Holy Chao!

HOLY COW!!!

BZZZ, FART, FIRE, ARRRGGHH!!!!! - A Danish man having surgery on his backside broke wind and set his genitals alight . . . (via Moosetrax)

The next time you're piss drunk and staggering down Hollywood Boulevard make sure you don't puke on OZZY

I don't know how many people remember one of my favorite Olde Tyme computer games Boulderdash (here's a rickity Java version) but I just found a Flash game on the net which is strikingly similar and has fairly excelleny playability. Acno's Energizer even has an online level editor to make custom levels with. So, go ahead and ask me why I'm going to be so tired at work tomorrow. Just ask...

I'm not sure why I find games like Frisbee Dog so damned amusing! Cute little bugger ain't he? And he stays that way as long as you don't try to catch the frisbees with razor blades on the edge - and darn if those handgrenades don't look almost like the tennis balls you play with...

Gone and Forgotten is a neato website which publishes articles about really obscure comic books. The pictures are from my personal favorite from their site Hansi: The Girl Who Loved the Swastika - a really twisted tale that may just be better off, well, for lack of better words - gone and forgotten!

Researchers have filled an off-the-shelf inkjet printer with semi-conducting polymer "ink" to print computer displays and solar cells on to a multitude of different surfaces. You have to read the article to realize how absolutely, positively cool this can be! They're talking five years before this is commercially available and I'm drooling at the prospect already...

"We apologize to the lovely city and people of Rio de Janeiro," Brooks said in a statement on Friday.

"If that doesn't settle the issue, Homer Simpson offers to take on the President of Brazil on Fox Celebrity Boxing."

The Simpsons executive producer apologizes for their portrayal of Rio de Janeiro on a recent episode - sort of...

Sorry about the censorship on the image! Eva y Adan (Eve and Adam) is a bizarre little game where the object is to "score" points by catching and banging Eve. The problem is that there is a large gorilla who seems interested in only one thing, and that is catching Adam and doing the same to him! There's also a chicken that Adam can take out his frustrations on but since the instructions are not in English the benefits of chicken stretching are not readily apparent...

QUESTION: Do any of you listen to Radio Mookie?
If YES, then what kind of music do you want to hear next? . . . If NO then I'll remove the link.

When Eagles Attack . . . This very special MI24 helicopter is currently flying in Afghanistan (Click photos to enlarge).

. . .

My wife keeps telling me that I need to get a life!!!

Pamela Rock? . . . Kid Rock has proposed to Pamela Anderson.

Rev. Brian - In other news : J-Lo caught sans underwear.

Talk about no respect. Poor Aquaman must be the superhero version of Charlie Brown. If this song isn't bad enough, his comic was canceled and the guy was killed off. But then again they killed Superman once too. Those bastards!

Remember all those old Hostess Cupcake ads in comics? I sure do. Read the Preacher parody.

The Zenturian says . . . It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Hey there Georgie Girl

A collection of other people's grocery lists? . . . (Mookie adds) Not quite the same thing as the Amazon Wishlist

Download mp3s from Gateway - CEO Ted Waitt is taking some flak from Hilary Rosen (CEO of the RIAA) because of Gateway's latest promotion.

Some genius wore Electric Shoes in San Francisco Airport . . . Security was actually paying attention this time.

This is Acid . . . Timothy Leary Lives!

A man, a camera, a big country, 3,304 photos . . . American Mile Markers - One 35mm photo every mile from the Satue of Liberty all the way to Golden Gate Bridge.

Oh Mama Mia, Mama Mia!!! . . . 'We Will Rock You - Robert De Niro and Queen are creating a new musical featuring Queen's greatest hits

If anyone was paying attention, or even reading this thing way back then, our local Taco Bell burned down last May and blogged a picture I took of the disaster. Well, praise Jesus, we are no longer under Third World conditions here at the 3bruces World Headquarters because our Taco Bell reopened today! They're still in "training" mode, so it's a simplified menu, but it's been ages since I've been able to slap down a few Gorditas at work. Yum!

Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer (MBSA) - Analyze your Windows (NT, 2000 or XP) system for common security misconfigurations.

Which tarot card are you?

The only problem with this test is that it doesn't bother to explain why the card applies to you and what it signifies. So, if you're not somehwat versed in the tarot here's a page that has some rather short definitions for the major arcana (the test only uses the major arcana for it's results.)

Take the High Yield Killing Method Test and find out what your preferred method of mass slaughter is... ...but you may want to find out how likely you are to commit murder in the first place. I scored a -1% so I guess I'm not likely to be out building a hideously large weather control machine to create natural disasters any time soon.

When I can't sleep, I like to count Sheeple

If the evidence that the Catholic Church merely reassigned priests involved in child sex issues wasn't already damning enough, it has now come out that the Archdiocese of Boston knew that one of its priests, now accused of rape, spoke in favor of sex between men and boys at a 1979 meeting that apparently led to the formation of the group NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association.)

The documents also show that archdiocese officials knew of sexual misconduct allegations against the priest, the Rev. Paul Shanley, since at least 1967, but continued to give him access to children in different parishes for three decades.

The documents also show that Vatican officials had been told as early as 1979 about Shanley's teachings on homosexuality. He continued to serve as a parish priest for several years after that.

How exactly does informing the Vatican in 1979 qualify as "early" when you've had problems with the guy since 1967?! I usually don't post stuff like this here but this situation REALLY makes me angry - and it can't be doing any good for the image of the Catholic Church or religion in general for that matter. Way to drop the ball guys...

City tourism officials plan to sue the producers of the animated sitcom "The Simpsons" over its depiction of Rio de Janeiro in a recent episode, according to a report in O Globo, a daily newspaper in Brazil. How can they be really upset that they aren't going to have their country trampled by the sort of people who think satiric cartoons are a good source of information on foreign cultures?

A Reader's Guide to the Underground Press

NORML (The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws) is using this quote from NYC Mayor Bloomberg in their new ad campaign. When asked if he had ever smoked pot, Bloomberg said, "You bet I did. And I enjoyed it." Bloomberg says he's not happy about the posters and adds that the NYPD will continue to uphold the current laws.

Your objective is simple: widespread misery. Your motive is a little bit more complex: to show them all!

Stage One:
To begin your plan, you must first assassinate the chosen one. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this despoiler of all that is good and nice and true? Where did he come from? And why does he look so good in classic black?
Stage Two:
Next, you will seize control of the Pacific Ocean. This will cause countless hordes of computer programmers to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with all that is wrong with the world, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.
Stage Three:
Finally, you will reveal to the world your doomsday device, bringing about nightmares for every man, woman and child. This will all be done from an abandoned church, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Being a megalomanic has never been easier! The Evil Plan Generator takes the pressure off of you when creating your dastardly plans for the rest of humanity.

The other day Dave the Vent Guy (gotta be a story behind that) posted a picture of a water cooler with a beer bottle instead of water. For some reason, I just had to haul my camera into work to take a few pictures of the water cooler in the lab where both Rev. Brian and myself work. The odd thing is that I have no idea why this is posted there - they don't have them on any other water cooler in the entire company that I noticed and it's been there for as long as I can remember. Any thoughts Brian?

Terrorist Swat - Stike back against Osama . . . (thanks KevyKev)

First came The Full Monty and now this . . . Puppetry of the Penis

The Ozzman Cometh . . . to White House ... (via Random Abstract)

When good hard drives go bad . . . HEAD CRASH!!! ... (Sounds that you never want to hear coming from your computer).

Der Riesenrad Vienna, Austria

The Russians must be getting desperate. I mean, after the space race and the arms race one would think they'd come with something better than the ferris wheel race!? Yup, the Russians are reportedly going to spend $20 million to build the world's largest ferrris wheel which will soar some 650-feet above Moscow. It will have 60 heated cabins of transparent plexiglass, each comfortably seating 24 people on recliner chairs and sofas. A single revolution will last half an hour, time enough for a light meal – served airline style – or a few refreshments from the onboard bar. Yeah, that ought to earn them some international respect. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, my fave wheel will always be the Riesenrad or "giant wheel" at the Prater amusement park in Vienna, Austria (wow, that has to be one of the worst web pages I've ever seen!) It only gets you about 200 feet off of the ground but the fact that it's been doing so since 1897 adds significantly to its "cool factor" (the park itself opened in 1766.) The night view of Vienna from the top is awe inspiring also - at least that's what my wine addled mind thought when I was there!

These "superhero"-like comix which feature Adolf Hitler vs. Joseph Stalin are VERY well done - I just wish they hadn't disabled the English version because my command of Russian is non-existent! I did notice that all of the ads are still in English though...

Pigeon shit . . . pigeon shit . . . and more PIGEON SHIT!!!

Whatever happened to ... Tawny Kitaen?

Just when you thought that you'd run out of kinky fetishes along comes . . . CastFetish.com

Forgive me father for I have...BLAMMO!!! - A despondent man shot himself in the head yesterday at New York's famous St. Patrick's Cathedral.

"I understand that terrorism is unpredictable, like the weather, but I need a long-range forecast, not a five-day," said bride-to-be Sarah Hanover of Keene, N.H. "I've already booked the Elks Club for June 15. Will that be a bad day? Should I switch to the 22nd? And should I wear white, or Kevlar?"

Sorry Sarah, the FBI's on-air AccuThreat^TM forecasters just can't predict things out that far. Big thanks go out to Dave "Why Can't I Just Blog This Stuff Myself" Capstick who sent this in from the ice planet Hoth!

Judge Mills Lane Suffers Stroke

Rev. Brian : Maybe he heard about the contaminated water supply?

FOR MY NEW YORK FRIENDS: Do It Downtown! - Wall Street Rising presents a FREE downloadable Discount Card and Brochure featuring great bargains at hundreds of Lower Manhattan restaurants, retail shops, hotels, cultural institutions and more.

It took two years of researching public records for this company to collect over 172,000,000 nursery photos - the pictures taken of newborn babies at over 98% of hospitals and medical centers. Mandated by federal guidelines, local municipalities must keep photos of all newborns in their public records - and they've brought them all online for public viewing. Somehow I fell through the cracks in this one but head on over and find out if they have your photo on file.

Hey subneural! I saw that you were shocked to find out that you had a secret lust for Oriental women when taking yesterday's fetish test. Well, what you need is one of these handy shirts from J-List which says, in Japanese of course, "Looking for a Japanese girlfriend." That should help you slake that fire... J-List, by the way, also has in stock a product which has often been thought to be mere urban legend, the Hello Kitty vibrator and hundreds of other obscure and sometimes downright baffling bits of Japanese culture.

Lord of the Ringos - The Beatles wanted to make their own version of The Lord of the Rings back in the 1960s . . . (thanks Kev-O)

High-profile anti-Unix site runs Unix - A Web site sponsored by Microsoft and Unisys as a way to steer big companies away from the Unix operating system is itself powered by Unix software (FreeBSD) . . . DOH!!!

The Men of Enron - A few weeks ago, Playboy made plans for a "Women of Enron" nude spread. Well now Playgirl (sorry ladies, no website) has asked the men of the scandal-ridden corporation to doff their duds as well.

Landlord allegedly forced tenant to drink motor oil . . . Maybe she was a quart low?

This one's for you Hardskillz . . . Armored Humidor Systems - Cigar storage for the ultimate traveler.

You don't know Jack Schitt

JishaFilter

Official Rockbitch Headquarters

Lojack for your kids? - Helps you determine your child's location in minutes.

Speaking of Monty Python . . .
It's only a Bunny Rabbit . . . But it's got HUGE fangs!!! - A California man was attacked by a jack-rabbit. (The link keeps expiring but I think I have it now).