Sweet! An online collection of science fiction short stories that have gone out of publication. Michael Bishop, Terry Bisson, Geoffrey A Landis, Michael Moorcock and Kim Stanley Robinson just to name a few of the authors. Some great reading at a great price: free!

I always love it when new technologies are finally used for something truly useful - like this watch which uses global positioning satellites to tell you the locations of the nearest pubs!

And, for those who enjoy turning a thousand dollars worth of electronics into a $10 no-tech toy - Virtual Etch-a-Sketch!

Two flying human asses and an airborne toilet - all clickable for obnoxious sounds float about on your screen to the tune of Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" - the most wonderfully useless Flash I've seen in some time!

Light up a few Buttcandles and enjoy...

Remember the "Get Your War On" comix from a while back? Now there's some "Get Your Enr On" comix for your viewing pleasure?!

While perusing over at Ultimate Insult I found this perplexing site: the Naughty Nun. It may not be quite work safe but it's really nowhere near pornographic either. It's one of those sites that treads a path all it's own! You have to give it a look, I can't really explain it right now 'cause I'm too damn tired. It simply contains some semi-risque artwork and long story-like references to slutty women in the Bible - and it also has links to other sexual imagery in the Bible. None of it is approached in a way that is at all graphic but it seems pretty complete! Just strange, very strange.

There was also this great link to a site which teaches you how to swear in German, complete with sound files so you get the pronunication correct. Cool!

Bunny Abandonware has a bunch of old computer games for download whose rights have been abandoned by the creators (who are mostly not with us anymore.) They even have a copy of Dark Castle which I know has to give Rev. B. some flashbacks!

From the "interesting yet confusing ideas department"::

Leading Brands is designing a unique package that will incorporate the well-known attributes of PEZ into a line of natural, preservative-free juice drinks targeted at 8 to 14 year olds.

Does anybody else feel that convincing parents that something with a huge label that says "PEZ" on the side is actually good for their kids is quite an uphill battle?

As he outlined to the TIMES, this year will bring a book of short stories and the long delayed FROM A BUICK EIGHT (which he discussed in his non-fiction book ON WRITING) and then he’s on to write the last three books in the DARK TOWER series. He hopes to finish the TOWER novels within a year. Then?

“Then that's it. I'm done," he says. “Done writing books… You get to a point where you get to the edges of a room, and you can go back and go where you've been, and basically recycle stuff. I've seen it in my own work.

Stephen King to leave horror writing? They seem to gloss over the fact that he says he's not going to write books anymore. I'd suspect he'll focus more on cinema and television - that's where the real money is anyway.

A fantastic Flash reproduction of the Missile Command arcade game!
(via Creepy Steve)

A humorous selection of rejected iMac designs.

Make your own Blues name (starter kit):

a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi,etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

(from "How to Sing the Blues" by Lame Mango Washington)

I was quite prepared to be repelled but actually Beatallica kinda rocks with their synthesis of the Beatles and Metallica! I'm sure our friend Addy won't agree at all with me on this one...

Deputies said Castle, who has been a county employee for more than 30 years, had been masturbating into the coffee cups of co-workers.

Oh, this is just foulness incarnate!

Let's face it. Freshness is skin deep. It's hard enough trying to keep your body fresh and clean, but anal odors and ass sweat can be a tougher beast to tame... especially when you are an energetic, active person on-the-go!

Over at Friendtest you can create a test to find out how well people know you. I read Dwiv's blog pretty much daily and I found out I don't know shit about him!

See what Care Bear you are.

Only three dates east of the mighty Mississip!
3/08 - South Amboy, NJ - Chrome
3/09 - Garden City, NJ - Ethical Humanist Center
3/10 - Albany, NY - Valentines

I really can't believe that TSOL is touring and even put out a new album last year! Crimeny, I think a friend borrowed my old TSOL vinyl about 18 years ago...that bastard! It got me thinking about another band I loved back then but other than an acoustic show with Eddie Vedder and Beck last weekend, no dates. Suck.

Frequent reader Dave "No Lip Balm Jokes Please" Capstick sent a link in that I know I've seen before and may have blogged before - but it's such a great/funny/sick Flash animation that I figured I'd toss it up again. Be forewarned, "I'm a Cow" is not for kids and may not be worksafe! There's no nudity but there is heavy BDSM imagery (it is also a 1.2meg download.) Enjoy, sickos...

If I were doing genetic research into improving pork products, it would be to design a pig that was all loins and bacon - not so those crafty Japanese. Who would have thought that inserting spinach genes was a good idea?!

Actually, it looks like the video game industry is scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas these days:

Lace up your platform shoes and pick up your diamond-studded whoop-ass cane - here comes a rival pimp bent on hijacking your hoes! Welcome to the world of Pimps At Sea, where you can hoist the jolliest of rogers and set sail for a different kind of booty.

And I always thought Bungie was a pretty class outift!

Now that British women have fought for equality in the workplace, now it seems they need to fight for the right to smoke pot to cope with that priveledge - and they have enlisted the help of Britian's largest trade union to help them.

Calling for legalisation of cannabis, a joint motion to be debated at the union's women's conference in Cardiff next month, when delegates will represent 900,000 women, says it is crucial that women can escape the growing tensions of working life.

Heh, heh! A joint motion! Heh, heh! I've heard many arguments for the legalization of marijuana but this has to be the weirdest tactic yet. Their stance is that marijuana has less calories than alcohol or chocolate, so it is a healthier and less fattening way to chill out. Have these people ever heard of the "munchies"?!

Link to full article. Thanks Lazurus!

Your presence reminds one of a blind jackal, eternally dependent upon misguided archbishops to provide instruction in bowling.

This random praise generator entertained me for sometime tonight with consistently bizarre phrases like the one above. Next time you're looking for something nice to say to somebody, why not give it a try?

If the Euro were to be redesigned like this (not work safe), I bet teenaged boys would become extremely interested in collecting them. Heck, I can envision entire countries going from the gold standard to the porn standard!

One of the nicest Flash games I've played, War on Terrorism challenges you to complete three missions and then beat the crap out of Osama Bil Laden. Nice gameplay but it is a nearly 700k download.

Some example photos would enhance this a bit but the Virtual Palmistry page over at Yahoo! was a fun way to blow a bit of time! Actually, the results were pretty well in line with my personality which surprised me.

I know my friend Heather gets upset every time I post the nifty little games I find involving cats like Catapult and Catbat so here's my apology, an utterly inane and useless page that does nothing but give you random pictures of cute, little kitties. Wot fun. God I hope I'm not around when she views this thing, I'll need insulin shots!

Actually, I was surprised, and just a tad disappointed, that this fantastic page of experiments you can do with your microwave oven (at your own risk, of course) didn't have any entries involving cats!

FOR more than 50 years, the relatives of Adolf Hitler have hidden under false names in Long Island, New York. They have not spoken publicly since the Second World War. In a revelatory new book to be launched this week, they break their silence.

If you have any interest at all in this book do yourself a favor and read this article. It strikes me as though this book is going to confuse history even more since it is based around the family of a nephew of Adolf Hitler - a nephew who fought for the Allies during the war and of whom Hitler referred to as "my loathsome nephew." Yes, the same nephew who after the war named his first-born son Alexander Adolph! You just couldn't make this stuff up, nobody would believe you...

I think it's wonderful that even though people are freezing on the streets in our country and there is a constant undercurrent of civil unrest and violence, we have the heros of the United Poultry Concerns protesting the shameful way that chickens are portrayed in fast food commercials...

(The ad) shows a group of men in suits standing around as one turns a live chicken every which way in a futile search for nuggets. They note that the chicken has wings, a breast and thighs, but no nuggets. The ad is meant to spoof competitors who sell chicken nuggets.

The ad's punch line shows a man removing a rubber glove and saying, "It's not there, either."

It sounds funny to me but Karen Davis thinks otherwise, "The bright lights of filming, the numerous takes likely needed to produce the spot and the absence of a "significant other" to calm the chicken would combine to make the experience stressful for the chicken." She goes on the state that the ad "portrays chickens in a degrading and demeaning manner."

Along with Leonard Pitts' column today stating that blacks cannot be racists, even when espousing racially bigotted opinions, this has been one very entertaining Martin Luther King Day!

How much of a fascist are you? I scored a 3.57 which means I am "disciplined but tolerant; a true American." Actually a reasonably interesting test...

What a great idea! If you ever wanted to know what the ultimate response to those pesky Jehovah's Witnesses knocking at your door is - this woman definately has it going on!

Well, I guess the officials were right according to Rule 3, Section 21, Article 2. Now I think the rule sucks not the decision made by the replay judge!

The secret diary of Aragorn of Arathorn.

I've got an idea, why don't we just refer to all of the candidates as Jesse L. Jackson to avoid confusion...

Beware of sewer lizards!!!

Well, there are screwups and then there are screwups - and this has to be the MOTHER of all screwups I've seen! As part of a tribute to Martin Luther King, a plaque was supposed to be made honoring James Earl Jones. Simple, huh? But when the plaque was done, the inscription read "Thank you James Earl Ray for Keeping the Dream Alive." You do remember who James Earl Ray was, don't you?!

I don't really understand the reasoning behind the creation of a site like Führer Tanzen...could someone clue me in? Of course in a world where there exists plastic army man porn and gourmet Star Trek coffees I guess anything is possible...

You have been drafted by the king to rid his courtyard of cats. Armed only with a baseball bat you need to "gently coax them" over the castle walls. Sweet! Catbat kicks ass!

While I was sucking on my Great Biggie Mr. PiBB from Wendy's today a though crossed my mind: how much of this would it take to kill me from a caffiene overdose? The answer: about 46.26 gallons! Is this about caffiene overdose or bursting from internal pressure?!

It seems that even though Apple wants all the rebels to "Think Different", this apparently doesn't apply to The Church of Satan!

Well, our friend Rampy from over at Randomdrivel noticed that the site that hosts the Dead Rockstar Personality Test is actually a site that allows you to create those annoyances, so he created a new one. The "which time wasting link sharing weblog site are you" test? I don't know though, I took the test and of the six sites it displayed the LOWEST score was for the site I actually am part of!

Too bad it's a fake, I'd love to drive a 1999 Badi Dea Wombat!

Logovault is one great resource! If you're in need of a logo for almost any decent sized company you can think of, or you want to view hundreds you've probably never heard of, click the link and be amazed - they've got 'em all!

He's a benighted one-eyed jungle king on the edge. She's a high-kicking cigar-chomping vampire in the witness protection scheme. They fight crime!

You are sexy, outgoing, and inwardly poetic, just like that uber-endowed, and massivley taltented guitarist Jimi Hendrix!

Take the ' which dead rockstar ' are you, test, here!

---

(Thanx to our friend Leelee for the link!)

You have a genius intellect and an awesome sense of humor. You can sarcastically put someone in their place without batting an eye. Your only problems seem to be that you have trouble acknowledging your true feelings and you may use your humor as a defense to hide what you are really feeling. But, your godliness overpowers any insignificant flaws you may have. Even if you tend to pass gas during very inconvenient moments. Take The "Which Kevin Smith Male Are You?" Quiz!!

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You have an air of intelligence about you, some might even perceive you as being stuck up. You seem like you may be a nice person when you're not throwing one of your ever-present hissy fits and being a bitch to everyone. And take off your socks when you make whoopie, he hates it! Take The "Which Kevin Smith Female Are You?" Quiz!!

A cute but misguided little Flash animation called "iMacDonald had a Farm." Humorous but it is somewhat ironic for PC users to accuse the Mac world of having overheating processors, wonky memory chips and an OS that crashes all the time! My system is incredibly stable, I've never had ANY issues with memory chips (I buy the correct ones) and my processor runs cool to the touch. These issues are part of the lore on all sides of the system/processor/os war whether we like it or not...

I'm feeling sadistic today!
DO NOT CLICK HERE!!!
(Consider yourself adequately warned!!)

Hoorah! It seems that one of my favorite authors has been given a cool million bucks for the rights to his Bromeliad Trilogy which is being made into an animated movie by the same group of people who did Shrek. I've never understood why Terry Pratchett wasn't more popular in this country, in England he is currently outsold only by JK Rowling of Harry Potter fame, having sold over 23 million books worldwide. I can only hope that at some point Pratchett's Discworld novels get the same treatment - they absolutely kick ass and I've only read about nine of the series.

Have no doubt people. I am at war. I didn't want it, but these mice have invaded my homeland. I sleep here, and I eat here, and I someday hope to entertain girls here. The mice have to go, dead or alive. So there is no confusion, this is a war. There will be casualties. Emotion plays no role in this. I know the enemy, and it is mouse. Caution, this individual's tale of ridding his "homeland" of mice contains counter-terrorist activities, an anthrax scare and photos of genuine casualties! It's also roaring funny if you have a sick sense of humor...

Wow! A fantastic collection of television commercials advertising video games and video game hardware! What's so cool about that? Because they're from back in the day when the Big 3 video game hardware manufacturers were Atari, Intellivision and Coleco. These babies really bring back some memories - I almost want to pull the old Atari 2600 out of my parents attic and hook it up!

Cory over at BoingBoing gets an unprecidented second mention this week for a link that had me crying through my giggles. You just have to check out Luther Wright and the Wrongs album "Rebuild the Wall" which is "their mandolin-and fiddle-fueled take on (Pink) Floyd’s classic 1980 album." You can download mp3's of their versions of "Another Brick in the Wall Part 1" (which is actually Part 3) and "Goodbye Blue Sky" - I guarantee you'll be shocked and stunned. Very stunned. I really have to pick up a copy of the album though, it will nicely compliment my Beatles bluegrass albums!

Need a good, cheap laugh? Go to Googol AIM Search and enter two screennames (they don't need to be real.) It'll produce a humorous fake conversation something like this one. It's the same text everytime unfortunately...

B5 d++ t+ k s+ u- f+ i+ o x e+ l++ c--
Do you run a blog? What is your Bloggercode?

I know a blogged a few of these before but this is so nicely done I have to share it! This is just an example of what you can do over at pieceofshit.net!! Have fun kids...

It looks as though I'm not the only one who was fascinated by the snow yesterday, John over at Thinkhole posted a nice slideshow of pictures taken in southern PA.

Having just gone to see a a theatrical production of "A Christmas Story" back before the holiday this little tid-bit is all the more amusing! It seems that with a name like Scott Scwartz you don't need to change your name to go from performing in family fare movies to starring in porn features! First he's Flick with his tongue stuck to a flagpole in "A Christmas Story" and then he's got his tongue stuck elsewhere in "New Wave Hookers 5"!! Talk about type-cast...

This is one spiky little article written by a Canadian about how weird America is to visit. Now, anybody who knows us knows we love to visit the Great White North and, heck, Rev. B. and meself were both born about as close to Canada as you can get without being there (Buffalo and Rochester New York, respectively.) My problem with the article is that the crap in it is so damned petty! Can't get butter tarts? Cry me a river. Why is it that travelling from Buffalo to Niagra Falls, Ontario increases the prices of fountain soda from about a penny an ounce to nealy ten cents? Pierogis, what are pierogis? So, some bar you were in a had a moosehead with collected bras from patrons hanging on it? Ever been in the Bovine Sex Club on Queen St. in Toronto? The place is like an anti-gravity garbage dump with partially dismantled fiber-optic lamps poking through it (unless it's changed.) Car parts, a baby buggy - all kinds of crap. Can't get someone to make that "singularly Canadian drink the Caesar" for you because they don't know how to make it? Gee, I wonder if there aren't several hundred obscure recipes for regional favorites here in the US that you can't get in Canada.

Oh the hell, with it. Hey punk, next time you travel try embracing the local culture instead of snivelling about your personal favorites from home. Heck, I'm not getting one of those delicious double-barreled sausage sandwiches that are ubiquitous in Bavaria anytime soon but I also don't have to cope with what they think a pizza is either!

When she was refused service at a Winnipeg doughnut shop yesterday, Karen Jonasson's eyes widened then rolled upward.

"I don't believe this," the flustered woman said aloud before turning on her heel and making a quick exit.

Beside her were the two reasons Ms. Jonasson couldn't get coffee and a cruller to go -- her children, 7 and 8.

It seems that Winnipeg has banned smoking in public places frequented by minors. What was Coffee Time coffee shops response? Ban minors in their six Winnipeg shops!!

"We tried to obey the bylaw for one day and we lost half our business," she said. "But now that we've allowed smoking and banned minors, our business has doubled today. We're getting calls from across the city."

If I lived near Winnipeg I'd drive there just to eat donuts and drink coffee at Coffee Time - and I'm a non-smoker!

(A tip of the old chapeau to Cory at BoingBoing)

Yeah, you guessed it. It's snowing here at 3bruces! Inches and inches of snow. I've been a shoveling fool last night and this morning and now I must off to bed to get some sleep for work tonight. I do, however, leave you with some pictures of my neighborhood blanketed in snow. Enjoy!

First one must access the danger using the Hippie DEFCON Chart...

DEFCON	Situation
5 4 3 2 1	Lone Hippie Drum Circle Hippie Love Fest Hippie Block Party Phish Concert

...and then apply some tried and true Anti-Hippie tactics! This information brought to you by Anti-Hippie Action League (via our pal Rampy.)

I never realized just how many Dr. Pepper imitations there were but Matt over at fakedrpepper.com is doing a good job of cataloging and rating them.

One dome to rule them all...

If I had kids, they would only be allowed to use genuine Harry Potter brand ecstacy!

Even after rejecting stage names such as Sambo Mousselini, Gomer Stalin and Ernie Hitler and seeking fame in cruise ship dinner theatre and the New Mousekateers, Marilyn Manson's legacy will always be the sheer metric tonnage of sucky music he has produced. The many, many episodes of Behind the Music That Sucks are some funny shit!

Nifty! A very faithful recreation of the ancient game Pitfall in all it's pixellated glory.

The most eye-popping site I've seen lately would have to be the Hypnotits site. Not work safe, and not really home safe either...

"I don't look back with any bitterness, though there are a couple of judgment calls and some '80s hairdos that I'd like to do over."

--Rob Lowe

An amusing look back at 2001: The Year in Quotes.

Defend your rights to watch what you want - even though that damned Shultz wields a wicked tuba. Or maybe it's a Sousaphone? Whatever, Rest Home Fighter is a heckuvalotta fun!