A nice online tutorial on setting up your own streaming audio web radio station! That would be cool but it's not like we need anything else to do around here. Of course, we could always just run Scientologist propoganda 24hrs. a day and then sell L. Ron books to all the resultant zombies...

The only problem with The Ultimate Build Your Own Cow Page (Version 2.05) is that it doesn't allow you to add multiples of the more edible parts of bovines. Maybe they're reserving that for the 3.0 upgrade...

As you have probably heard, sexual intercourse is the number-one cause of orgasm in this country. This must stop! (link via Julie at Accidental)

Working on completing your shit list or just starting your Colonblow regimen? Well then the Virtual Toilet Paper Museum may be just what you need! Learn to identify modern toilet paper brands and see shocking photgraphic evidence of the lemming-like horror of a toilet paper mass-suicide. You may also want to take some time to weigh in on the great "over or under" debate (cast your vote and try to ignore the haunting, melodic sounds of The Chicken Dance in the background) and view data on the oft ignored crumple or fold debate.

Even though I am a weekly contributer to the stupidity tax, I never once considered human sacrifice as a viable method of reliable number choice. Maybe a good statistical wheeling program would help to some degree but how could I trust someone who claims they can increase my chances of winning by 8,300%??!

Although it doesn't even begin to compare with my fave nettoon Hotendotey, Mr. Wiggles Goes to Rehab has some very special moments - and is just plain sick the rest of the time...

I know things were changing over at www.nastyassholes.com but this is just plain weird (here is a screenshot if the URL has been redirected.)

And yet more from the "Crazy Japanese" files: a sexual practice called kokigami: the wrapping of the penis in a paper costume. From the Glossary of Unusual Sexual Practices. Unfortunately, it's already taken as a band name.

From the "please make my government more pervasive and in control of my life" files: Big Brother is not only watching you, he's in control of your automobile.

Honestly, you could replace something like 90% of the websites I visit with this simple page!

What home decor is complete without a lifelike corpse? And while you're at it, wouldn't a fetus in a petri dish look nice on the endtable? Just make sure it's on a doily because everything looks better on a doily.

If you're really bored and have absolutely nothing to, or you're just plain nosy, head on over to Metaspy. Metaspy allows you to view current searches taking place at Metacrawler and features filtered (no porn related searches) and unfiltered versions. The main thing I've found out is that about 4 in 10 searches are for porn and most people kan't spel wel! If you really like it a similar page is available for AskJeeves...

It doesn't make the news here in the States much but piracy on the high seas is still a big problem.

We're always looking out for you here at 3bruces and we know that you, like most people, wrestle with your religious faith and beliefs constantly. Of course, we all know thaat the biggest question isn't does God exist it's what should I wear? That why you need to read "The Principles of Christian Dress" and visit this page where you'll learn which religion is best for your complexion, whether or not it's fashionable and spiritual to shave your pussy and whether boxers or briefs are the path to enlightenment. There's even Christian Fetish and a chasitity belt erotica page for those of you who need a bit more control in your lives!

In a bold gambit hoped to resolve dozens of conflicts around the world, the U.N. announced Monday the establishment of Ethniklashistan, a multinational haven in the West Bank that will serve as a new homeland for Irish Protestants, Hutus, Serbs, and other troubled groups. "For far too long, these groups have been locked in prolonged strife with their former neighbors, unable to achieve a lasting peace," U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said. "Now that these various peoples have a new homeland where they can find refuge, all the years of fighting and bloodshed can finally be put behind them." Former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic, now presiding over a Serb settlement near the Jordanian border, was optimistic about the future. "All Muslim scum must die," he said. "Death to all enemies of Serbian purity!" You just have to love The Onion...

Above: Touching scenes of ethnic unification

If the there were true justice in this world, the Department of Justice would force Microsoft to ship one of these gadgets with every copy of it's Windows OS - it would be the single largest productivity enhancement ever to come out of Redmond...

I had previously noted that lawnmower racing was a strange but somewhat popular activity. Rest assured, there are stranger things you can do with a lawnmower and this is just one of them. Let's hope this doesn't catch on, I have enough trouble sleeping through unaugmented lawnmower noise...

Only in California could one make money this way...

A few days ago the net was all abuzz with the heart-wrenching stories of once wealthy dotcom employees who were now homeless and destitute. Now read the REAL story of John Sacrosante who borrowed $1000 from his last employer and then promptly skipped town taking a company computer with him. The worst part is that his employer had considered him a good friend and assumed something had happened to John because he didn't answer his cell phone and a check of his apartment revealed it as being emptied. This prompted him to post a web page and offer a reward for information. I wonder, does the reporter who did the story qualify for the cash?

The truth? Actually, John is hanging out in a homeless shelter with a couple other down-and-out dotcom employees and planning a startup that will resell wearable mobile computing systems.

You just gotta love those wacky guys down at NASA! According to them there is a terribly simple solution to any global warming that might occur - you simply move the Earth farther away from the sun! Now why didn't I think of that...

It seems that Microsoft has Senior VP Craig Mundie pretty busy these days giving speeches in an attempt to discredit the open-sources software model. Odd though that only days after denying any usage of open-source code, Microsoft admits that it uses FreeBSD to run much of the core of Hotmail and has also been found that significant chunks of FreeBSD code have been encorporated into Windows2000. It seems that the only true innovations in Redmond these days are how low they can sink in trying to bolster the reputation of their crappy OS.

It wouldn't surprise me if they started paying hackers to write viruses that will only attack open source OS systems - but I'll refrain from accusing them of developing a CD-eating bacteria.

I hope that all who had the opportunity spent Father's Day yesterday with their paternal unit as I did. You never know when that priveledge is going to be revoked, as it was for the families of three New York City firefighters on Sunday when a building exploded during a fire - truly a Father's Day tragedy...

The National Academy of Sciences recently issued a report which has been widely quoted as supporting the Kyotyo environmental treaty. Now, as it seems to occur more and more often when the Greens spew their environmental propoganda, one of the authors takes them to task for their deliberate misquotation of the report.

Our primary conclusion was that despite some knowledge and agreement, the science is by no means settled. We are quite confident (1) that global mean temperature is about 0.5 degrees Celsius higher than it was a century ago; (2) that atmospheric levels of carbon dioxide have risen over the past two centuries; and (3) that carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas whose increase is likely to warm the earth (one of many, the most important being water vapor and clouds).

But--and I cannot stress this enough--we are not in a position to confidently attribute past climate change to carbon dioxide or to forecast what the climate will be in the future. That is to say, contrary to media impressions, agreement with the three basic statements tells us almost nothing relevant to policy discussions.

I wish I could believe that statements such as this and the now mounting evidence of multiple planet-wide ice ages lasting millions of years (in which the freeze/thaw cycles have only spanned a few tens of years) would help to ease the ridiculous pressures being put on our government and industry to conform to a treaty which only ONE country (Romania) has signed thus far. If the ENTIRE European Union is in support of the treaty, how come they haven't ratified it yet themselves? It is interesting that even though Bush seems to be taking the heat for the rejection of the Kyoto Protocol - news reports immediately following the initial draft of the treaty in 1997 proclaimed it dead in the water in the US as well as Austrailia.

I need your help. I may be blind or lack imagination - but I just can't see any intelligently created artifacts on Mars in ANY of the pictures shown on the Enterprise Mission website. They especially lost me with their insistence that grainy, indistinct pictures of boulders were actually tracked military vehicles. Yeah, whatever...

I just finished perusing the OS Deathmatches over at C|Net and must say I'm surprised at the results. MacOS 9 over Corel Linux in the flyweight division, a tie between MacOS 9 and WindowsME in the lightweight division and the new MacOS X over Windows 2000 in the heavyweight division. And I read all this just minutes after sending an e-mail to Apple's customer relations bitching that the attitude they've taken with OS X has nearly convinced me to switch to Linux!

In the top five purchases when we win the lottery here at 3bruces would HAVE to be a Patented High Speed Liquor Dispensing System. I'm sure the quality of our blogging would be altered by such a development - I'm just not sure HOW...

Remember the infamous "bat boy" from the cover of the Weekly World News? Well, he's in the news again - this time because the Secret Service is thwarting his infatuation with Jenna Bush! You just HAVE to love tabloids...

Elsewhere in politics, the Supreme Court handed down a ruling which we here at 3bruces applaud. In a close 5-4 vote it has been ruled that thermal imaging, commonly applied to detect heat from "grow lamps" used to cultivate illegal drugs, constitutes a search and requires a warrant. This ruling will, to a great degree, be used to limit the MANY forms of passive intrusion that have been developed and allow us to live the illusion of freedom and privacy for a few more years...

Did you find out what your alignment was yesterday? Now find out where you stand on the political compass. I ended up in the area occupied by several of British Parliament's Liberal Democrats - scoring a 1.02 on the economic scale (leaning to the conservative side) and a -4.29 on the authoritarian/libertarian scale (definitively liberterian.) Somehow how I doubt they would support my stand that able bodied persons who refuse to work should not eat though...

Arrgh! Why do people have to keep posting cool, timewasting games!! Tonight my productivity was utterly eliminated playing miniature golf but at least I managed a -3 for the course. It has a few annoying "bugs" to it but it is quite fun. It can be found over at Electrotank although the main page merely says "lauching 6/12/01" which would be, umm, like, today!

Thanks to Meg over at Not So Soft for the link. Meg is such a cool unit that people are debating whether or not she even exists!

Jasper White, a famous chef and lobster expert, said he was not impressed with the McDonald's lobster roll when he tried it. ''The whole definition of a lobster roll is the contrast between the warm, butter-grilled bun and the cool, refreshing lobster salad,'' he said, ''McDonald's misses the Zen of the lobster roll.'' What a HUGE surprise! McDonald's also missed the Zen of the Hamburger but it doesn't stop them from selling more of them than anyone else.

They also sell their sandwich for $9 less than the lobster sandwich at White's restaurant - I would think that a Zen Master would abhor charging extra for his knowledge...

Now that they've found the wreckage of U-166 120 miles from where they supposedly sank it, I wonder which U-Boat the U.S Navy actually bombed back on August 1, 1942?

I don't think I'm in the target market for men's pantyhose...

Reverend Brian and I are quite interested in "urban spelunking", although we tend to limit that to exploring industrial and/or abandoned structures. It's rare to find sites dedicated to this practice, European sites is among one of the best I've found. But there are many others and even an online magazine dedicated to the activity.

Of all the things I didn't need to see today, I'm glad I got this out of the way nice and early. Penis puppetry? You know you HAVE to look!

If ever get back off of first shift I will begin league bowling again, even though I pretty much sorta suck at it - it *is* a good reason to have a few beers and yuk it up with the other bozos on the team. Good clean All-American fun, except for the vulgar language. And the beer. And the jokes. Okay, so it's pretty much a depraved testosterone-fest but my father and brother are both on the team so it's a family thing which helps elevate it to normalcy. So, I suppose I'll have to emulate The Bowler and get me a kickass ball so I at least look weird doing it...

Presented for your approval, a map depicting the blast zone that would occur from a 1 megaton surface blast located at my place of employment (click it for a description of the damages in each zone.)


Of course, since our local Taco Bell has burned down it's not all that likely to happen...

It seems we weren't the only one's upset with the results of the Morimoto vs. Bobby Flay battle on Iron Chef the other night. This guy is rather more tweaked than even we were...

If you watch the Food Network at all you have undoubtedly seen the "Mr. Yoshida's Fine Sauces" commercial ("Mr. Yoshida on Your Favorite Vegetables.") We here at 3bruces think that's one of the funniest ads we've seen in awhile - our kudos go out the Leo Burnett agency for producing that gem. In fact, we like it so much we decided we should try one of Yoshida's sauces - but on one condition. That condition is that the strange, deadpan Japanese guy sitting on top of the produce in the supermarket has to in fact be Mr. Yoshida himself. Lo and behold, it is. In fact, Yoshida is going to be making five personal appearances in the US but they don't have the schedule up yet. Hmmm, I'll have to sneak over to the outlet at the Heinz plant across the street (even though they only make pet products here in what is the largest pet food plant in the world - which is also the STANKINEST pet food plant by my reckoning, quite whiffy today) and see if they have any since they are the US distributer.

What those young Columbian ladies need is to find religion!

...just added to my list of wants, "The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl" - a film about the amazing life of a German filmmaker. Having already read her biography this is just a must have. Her two most (in)famous works are "Olympia" (both Part 1 and Part 2) a monumental work documenting the 1936 Olympic Games held in Berlin, Germany and "Triumph of the Will" a documentary/propoganda film commissioned by Adolf Hitler. Both movies are considered to be among the BEST directed and filmed movies ever made and are used extensively at film schools as part of the curriculum. Reifenstahl has worked extensively in the post war years and produced some incredible films and photo collections - so why haven't you heard of her?

Because of her TWO films made for the Nazi party previous to World War II. She never joined the Nazi Party and spoke out against them during the war but she never condemned Adolf Hitler, whom she much admired. For that she gets reactions like this any time an award is bestowed upon her. Just read this "review" of the biographical movie in which the reviewer never actually manages to tell you whether the movie is good or not because of the immense amount of time spent spewing vitriol because there is a movie made about her. Let's not look at the amazing work this woman has done, let's condemn her with most of the evidence clearly in her favor. She was found innocent at the Nuremberg Trials and has struggled to find work ever since. She is currently 97 years old and survived a helicopter crash last year in the Sudan while filming her biographical film...what a woman!

Remember ex-President Ronny Reagan? Apparently you've got one up on him then according to the folks who created the Ronald Reagan Memory Game...

Remember, DIAPER spelled backwards is REPAID ...

This story of a teen high school prank reminds of watching them try figure out how to remove Mr. Berkey's MG midget from the auditorium (*smirk*)...